15. I will not eat other animals' poop.
14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
10. I will not walk under the big dog when he is peeing.
9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.
8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
7. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.
5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
4. I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
3. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
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